I Kissed a Zombie, and I Liked It

I know what you’re thinking. Yes, I actually read a book, and no, the main character isn’t a vampire. But there are vampires in it, and you’ll see why I love it so much once I explain. Take what you read about the categories with a grain of salt, since I’m sort of combining the lore of vampires AND zombies in this one…you know, if there is such a thing as zombie lore.

by Adam Selzer

Plot Synopsis: In a world where vampires, zombies, and werewolves are well known to exist! The equivalent of Wal-Mart brought dead people back to life to stock shelves, but the vampires that have been living among us for hundred of years outed them with a dead-people-ought-to-stick-together mentality, even though they apparently hate each other. Anyway, Alley loves making fun of everyone, especially the Bella Swans of the world, until she starts getting sucked into a relationship with Doug, who she finds out is a zombie after she starts dating him.






Vampire and Zombie Lore: 4
Definitely not the worst I’ve seen. Not everything is traditional at all, but everything is at least mentioned or explained away, with a few exceptions. That was appreciated. It’s also appreciated that zombies are gross and weren’t attempted to be made sexy or something.

Love/Sex/Romance: 3
This is the best fun I’ve seen poked at teen paranormal romance ever. In chapter ten, Alley researches the process of girls becoming various undead beings, and makes it a point to explain not only what trolls are, but how obviously delusional these girls who are head-over-heels for vampires are. She comes to the realization that other heroines seem to skirt over; killing yourself for a high school love is just an awful, awful idea.

Fights: 5
Nasty zombies wanting brains, at least three times! The last time, a main character dies from it!

Entertainment Value: 3
Once I realized that this book wasn’t what I expected it to be, I loved it. Unfortunately, that wasn’t until around page 120. Admittedly, this is just my own oversight, so this probably isn’t even that fair of a score.

Characters: 4
At first glance, they are nothing special. Until the Alley points out the flaws in the guys she’s dating OMG!!!!!!!!!!1

Writing: 3
Honestly, the writing isn’t bad at all. I think I’m just a bit bitter that I didn’t catch onto the joke until so close to the end, which just makes me feel dumb.

Overall, if you hate everything about Twilight, this is absolutely worth a read. I obtained an advance reader’s copy, courtesy of a coworker, but I believe it was recently released retail. I laughed out loud at the back flap description, which I think is part of what tricked me into thinking this was something else for so long. But, after I did, it was refreshing to read about a female protagonist that can be in love, but still see the flaws in her boyfriend. She convinced people not to be morons and kill themselves for their immortal boyfriends, but experienced patience in doing so – the kind of patience I don’t even have talking to Twilight fans about Edward Cullen. And, her experiences throughout the book make her a BETTER PERSON by the end. I can’t think of the last not-John-Green book I read where that happens.

Also, zombies are gross. And not sparkly and perfect. Thank goodness I didn’t have to read another scene where some girl sexes up a dude just by looking at him; barf.


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