Shakespeare Undead

by Lori Handeland

Plot Synopsis: A necromancer is raising people from the dead as zombies in London! Good thing that strapping young lad Will Shakespeare is a centuries-old vampire. Helping him is a young lad that goes out at night to kill them…or is it really a young woman who hates her husband and sneaks out at night dressed as a boy killing zombies, just like her nanny taught her to do? They fall in love and have lots of secks, but he can’t let her know he’s a vampire and necromancer, or she’ll think he’s raising the vampires!

 

 

 

 

 

Vampire Lore: 4
I can’t really knock this one. All the classics are in there, and they dispell the garlic and crucifix theories, which I never liked because they don’t make much sense.

Love/Sex/Romance: 2
Oh, there was plenty of it, don’t get me wrong. The attraction stuff was actually alright. It was the sex (and sex and sex) chapter that actually made me laugh out loud. Does anyone know if “pulse” is an actual 16th century term for orgasms? Other favorites include when she “palmed his length” and him going in and out of her like waves on the ocean, or something.

Fights: 4
There was blood! And zombies getting destroyed and turning into dust! And then Will rips off some other vampire’s head!

Entertainment Value: 2
It was interesting at first, and then I got bored, and then the hilarious sex scene, then I got bored, then there was a new vampire, and then Queen Elizabeth kicks his head across the Rose Theatre. So the entertainment value was kind of like the waves of the ocean.

Characters: 2
Sort of boring. And I’m tired of seeing Queen Elizabeth portrayed as such a badass rebel queen. Not that she wasn’t, but it’s getting old.

Writing: 3
The narration kept pretty true to the time period, but all the lines from Shakespeare plays (and elsewhere) got old a lot faster than I would have expected.

Overall, I’d say this is about a 2. It just didn’t hold my interest the way I hoped a book about vampire-Shakespeare fighting vampires would. Also it should be noted that the plot sounded so ridiculous, I assumed it was going to be a satire of the genre. Lori Handeland has actually authored many romance novels and is part of many supernatural romance collections, so not doing a search on Barnes & Noble before opening the book is attributed to my own ignorance. But, if you really enjoy supernatural romance fluff, you’ll probably like this one.