Sucks To Be Me: The All-True Confessions of Mina Hamilton, Teen Vampire (maybe)

by Kimberly Pauley

Plot Synopsis: Mina’s parents and crazy uncle have been vampires her whole life, but she isn’t.  Now the vampire council has found out she exists and are making her go through vampire lessons so she can decide if she wants to turn (you know, turn into a vampire).  She goes in knowing she doesn’t want to, but certain facts come to light and she just might change her mind.  (Also she likes 234987 boys.)







Vampire Lore: 4
I think I have a slightly biased opinion here.  Pauley modernizes some of the vampire myths (sunlight just makes vampires more susceptible to sunburn) and dispells some other myths (the holy water one, for instance). So I suppose it slightly deviates from lore, but I personally always though the holy water (and the garlic bit) was a load of stupid crap and just never made sense, so HOORAY FOR THAT.

Love/Sex/Romance: 4
These are teenagers we’re talking about, so there wasn’t a lot of crazy stuff going on. What I liked about it was that it was unexpected (in the first few chapters at least, then it was pretty predictable). The comment above about Mina liking all the boys sounds mocking, but I’m just glad to see a teenager that isn’t completely fixated on one guy and is completely stupid about it. The fact that she encourages her best friend to date the dude that she had liked for five years or something made me hopeful that girls will read this and think, maybe I WON’T find my true love forever when I’m 16.

Fights: 0
There were none.

Entertainment Value: 3
This was a fast read, so obviously it kept me entertained (I mean, I read the thing in a day). But there were things about the characters and writing style that just irritated me, something I’ll get to below.

Characters: 3
I LOVED Aubrey. He was hilarious and I figured he’d wind up being a total flake. Nathan was kind of odd…I was in high school once, and I can’t remember anyone from another clique being that welcoming to something who is completely different. Everyone else was pretty average, but Mina was so stupid and time I wanted to give her a swift uppercut to the jaw. Through the book.

It has nothing to do with the author’s writing quality, it’s reading a book in teen-speak that annoys me. This is probably a personal thing, since I haven’t been a teenager in nearly ten years, but reading about people thinking in “omigawds” just gives me the jibblies. And the IM conversations – I never, even as a teen, used all the stupid abbreviations, so that just made my inner grammar nazi want to curl up and die.

This is definitely one of the better books I have reviewed here. A sequel exists for this book, and I wouldn’t mind reading it if I ever found the time. I feel like that’s a pretty good way to sum this one up.


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